thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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