Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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