and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
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he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
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He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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