my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shattered a urinal.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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