Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize