Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
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I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
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I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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