Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
My liver just broke up with me...
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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