I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
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An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
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Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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