I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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