No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Randomize