this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
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I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
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She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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