I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
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