I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize