Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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