Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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