come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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