I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
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We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
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My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize