remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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