a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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