youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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