Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize