hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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