I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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