After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize