i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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