sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm too high and old for this...
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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