Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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