so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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