I never want to see another naked old woman again.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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