Where did you get a picture of my penis
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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