we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
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Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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