the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize