Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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