dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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