Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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