Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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