I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
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I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
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That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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