before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
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If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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