Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
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were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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