apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize