I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize