Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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