OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
where does the pee come out of this thing
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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