Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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