Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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