I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize