question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
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His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
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Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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