Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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