Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize