You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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